M Y . D I A R Y
Welcome to my diary. Here is where I will post my rants and stuff I just wanna talk about. My most recent posts will be displayed at the top with my oldest ones at the bottom. Follow my tiktok if you wanna see more of my life. Sometimes I just say shit and hope people understand what I mean without checking that what I typed is actually coherent, so apologies if something I say just doesn't make any sense at all.
06.30.2026 @ 3:05 AM - ON GENDER
This rant has no particular point or purpose, and within it I found myself metaphoricallyrunning all over the place.
I'm starting to hate gender as a concept in general. I just wish it wasn't ever applied to me. I don't want to be male or female, man or woman--and I hate identifying as non-binary too. I want to exist without the expectation that I should live a certain way, wear certain clothes, or fit into certain roles, I just want to *be*.
I would describe my gender as being a woman stuck in a man stuck in a woman's body, which doesn't fit so nicely into any of the mainstream gender boxes--which I don't mind, I don't like labels anyway. There was, however, a time when I did mind that fact. I wanted so desperately to be able to call myself something--anything--just so I wouldn't feel so confused about my own body and soul anymore. I went through a million different microlabels and tried out some sets of neopronouns and a few different neogenders(?)(I forgot what they're called, sorry) before I gave up entirely and just stuck with calling myself a trans man.
That label never felt right, though. My gender leans too "feminine"(I hate that label too, but that's for a different rant) for me to really call myself a trans man. I also unintentionally hate on men too much to call myself one lol. I eventually came to the conclusion that labels are always self-limiting to an extent and, while some labels are very helpful, some were simply created for domination of another sect of the population, gender being an example of such a label. Those kinda of labels should just be done with entirely, in my opinion, as I feel like it accidentally ends up continuing the cycle of gendered violence and oppression.
06/30/2026 @ 2:44 AM - READY FOR CONSUMPTION
I completed this page. It is now ready for use.